April 3, 2012 at 7:22 pm
Aha! I have internet again! Why did I lose my internet? Well it goes a little something like this... The previous owners of my new home move out. The internet company climbs up the pole outside my house and disconnects their internet, since they've moved. We move into the new home. The internet company climbs up the pole outside my house and connects the internet for us. The next day, the internet company thinks that they have not yet disconnected the internet after the previous owners of the house moved out. So they climb the pole outside my house and disconnect the internet. I call the internet company and make an appointment for someone to reconnect us. Robert the internet guy shows up (we like Robert the internet guy), explains everything to us and saves the day! So go vote at the Goblins vs OotS battle! We have defeated Romantically Apocalyptic, and so as promised, I will answer the question that I've refused to answer for years... "Can Minmax see out of his damaged, right eye?" The answer is yes. He suffers no penalty or impaired vision from the scar. Think about it, he complained about how the scar makes him look, but he has never complained about any kind of vision penalty. A minmaxer like him would definitely complain about a penalty to any of his abilities. So if we beat Order Of The Stick, I'll post all of the Shield of Wonder's random effects (*). Let me also take this moment to say that Order Of The Stick is nothing short of brilliant. In my opinion, it's much funnier than Goblins. The timing of the jokes are astounding. I still laugh at "bluff the stupid ogre". If you haven't read OotS yet, go do so now. And for the 80's fight scene to represent this battle, I bring you Optimus vs Megatron. And now back to drawing! This move has made me late! As always, thanks for reading. ~Thunt EDIT: (*) You know what? The more I think about it, the more I feel like a jerk face for offering you stuff to get you to vote. I'll post the Shield of Wonder info and the map whether Goblins wins or not. Just give me enough time to get those things in order. :)
March 29, 2012 at 12:50 pm
We beat Looking For Group? Seriously? YES! We destroyed the guys who host my site, send me ad revenue cheques every month and will be publishing future Goblins books! Wait. Uh oh. Anyways, now we're up against Romantically Apocalyptic. I've never seen this comic before, but I'm sure it's some crappy rip off of Penny Arcade or something. It probably sucks so hard that it can't possibly provide a challenge to us Goblinites. Let me just pop over to their site and read some of this garbage now. Whoa. That's a good comic. I mean, that's seriously good stuff. Intelligent jokes, gorgeous art work and a very original method of combining photography with digital painting. I think we're in trouble. I also think you should all check out that comic. Awesome stuff! Okay, here's the deal. If we beat RA, I'll answer the most commonly asked question I get about the comic. "Can Minmax see out of his right eye?" If we beat our next opponent after that, I'll post my chart of all the things the Shield of Wonder can randomly do. If we beat the opponent after that (thereby winning the tournament), I'll redraw and post my map of the Goblins world (something I've never publicly shown). I'd have to redraw it, because the ones I use in my notes are messy and covered in spoilery stuff. I really don't expect to win the tournament, but there you have it. Click here to vote on Goblins vs Romantically Apocalyptic. Click here to watch a cheesy, 80s fight scene that fits into the post apocalyptic tone. Click here to follow me on Twitter. As always, thanks for reading! And thanks for voting for us over at ComicMix! ~Thunt
March 26, 2012 at 10:22 am
Okay, maybe not every baddass fight takes place in a warehouse. Still... Wrought with wounds from the previous battles throughout the tournament, Goblins and LFG stood at opposide sides of the warehouse. Metal railings sprawled out in every direction, just high enough that someone could jump over them, looking super cool. Maybe while throwing some kind of flying kick or something. Bridges made entirely out of cool looking, metal mesh stretched across the expansive area, promising to provide a multi leveled third dimension for the two comics to fight on. Hanging from the ceiling were large, randomly placed chains. Some of which, contained kick ass hooks that dangled from the iron terrain at chest or head height. It totally added a level of manly danger to the aesthetic, so don't even worry about what the chains were for. You should probably also not worry about what that sparking machine against the wall was for either. Just know that it's totally going to shower the battle with awesome looking sparks. I guess the machine was broken or something. It's a terrible safety hazard now that I think about it. Actually, there's nothing safe about that warehouse. I mean... against that wall over there was an open vat of acid. Seriously, acid! It's bubbling and this thick, greenish smoke was wafting up out of it. That can't be healthy for the workers to have to breathe for eight hours! Sure, the vat's got a white skull painted on its side as a warning, but really, who's that going to help? It just made it look more baddass. Whatever. I guess it's a good place for the battle. LFG stood motionless, his eyes piercing that of his opponent's. His shirt was torn along the left sleeve, betraying a large wound that Unsounded had given him during a moment of distraction in their battle moments ago. It wasn't LFG's fault. This totally hot girl was watching and he had to wave at her. LFG had gained some valuable wisdom at the cost of the painful cut. Pain that he was going to have to fight through. Pain that he would use. Pain that would make him stronger. Goblins cracked his knuckles in an intimidating display of redundancy. A cool looking, trickle of blood had danced down the right side of his chin from the corner of his mouth. He had Scandinavia and the World to thank for that. He grimaced at his opponent who stood unflinchingly, thirty feet away. Goblins wiped his chin with the back of his hand and... wait. Did he just smear that awesome trickle of chin blood? Damn! That totally made him look all Indiana Jones, two thirds of the way through any of his movies! Now it probably looked like lipstick or something. Did it look stupid now? He wasn't going to have to go through this really important battle, looking like he's wearing lipstick, was he? Now this was going to bug him! He looked around for a mirror. What, no mirror?! Oh no, of course not! A mirror could break and create dangerous shards of glass! A topless vat of bubbling acid, the size of a car is fine, but a mirror is too dangerous! LFG watched Goblins look around the room. Obviously he was searching for a weapon of some kind. This was surely going to be a tough fight. Crap. LFG was watching him. Should he maybe ask if he had a mirror? No, that's stupid. Maybe he should just ask if the blood on his chin still looked all awesome and baddass. Forget it. He would just have to take off his shirt and wipe all the blood from his face. He'd lose any chance at the Indiana Jones look, but at least he'd know that he wasn't fighting LFG looking like an over lipsticked, Fox news anchor. LFG saw Goblins take of his shirt and wipe the lipstick off of his bottom lip. Good. That terrifying, Heath Ledger Joker look that it was giving him was pretty scary and effective. Just then, without warning (unless you count the build up of the entire tournament as a warning), the two comics rushed each other. Teeth bared. Fists clenched. The battle had begun. Click here to vote on Goblins vs LFG (and the other comics that are battling it out, too)! Click here to see a cheesy 80s fight scene in a warehouse. Click here to check out Looking For Group (which really is a freaking awesome comic that you guys need to be reading). Click here to follow me on Twitter. And as always, thanks for reading. ~Thunt
March 22, 2012 at 12:31 pm
Round three of the ComicMix Tournament has started!  This time, we're up against Scandinavia and the World! I mean the webcomic. We're not actually up against the entire world (which of course, includes Scandinavia). This'll be a tough fight, since our opponent has poignant, intelligent humour and fantastic artwork. However, if we manage to win this one, and Looking For Group manages to win out against Unsounded, then my friends... it's go time. Goblins vs Looking For Group. (And I have it on good authority that the LFG team said you guys all look like jerks.) But we must focus on the current fight at hand! Since things are getting more serious, I've upped my cheesy inspiration clip to Karate Kid Two (you know... cause Macchio could actually die in that one). Watch it, get pumped, then go vote for Gobins! Also, follow me on Twitter if you don't already. I tweet all the time about all sorts of stuff you don't know or want to know. As always, thanks for reading! ~Thunt
March 19, 2012 at 1:05 pm
ComicMix Round Two has started and this time, we're up against Wondermark! A comic with superb artwork and intelligent dialogue. So go check it out, read it, buy something from the site, tell a friend about that comic, then go vote for Goblins! I've decided that for every round we're still in the contest, I'm going to showcase a cheesy, 80s elimination-style fight movie to get you all in the a bloodthirsty mood. So before you vote, watch THIS (or as much of that clip as you can handle). The longer Goblins can hold out in this contest, the more publicity we get! And remember kids, there's a chance that Goblins could go head to head with Looking For group, and in the end, isn't that a fight that we all want to see? As always, thanks for reading. ~Thunt
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