Posted April 23, 2011 at 8:10 am
To keep Danielle from learning of my evil plot to propose marriage, I have been unable to let you guys know that this has been my plan for some time (before the Bieber project was dreamed up). So this may seem sudden to you guys, but it's been in the works for a while. Today, Danielle and I drove out to the patch of land that her parents have owned since she was a little girl. It was on this land that I first went camping with her... and her husband.  You see, I fell madly in love with Danielle the first time she joined my D&D game, but I was too chicken to tell her. Then she met some dude and moved away to New Mexico and got married (it was not a good marriage). I was crunched into a little ball of self pity. Then she moved back to Canada... with her husband. That was when they invited me and some other friends to go camping on her parents' land. I really shouldn't have gone on that trip. Y'know... being in love with her and everything. Like an angsty goof, I carved "I love Danielle" into a dead tree at the end of a far off path. No one saw me do that, of course. The next year, Danielle and her husband got a divorce. I'll spare you all the unpleasant details, but I later blurted out that I loved her and had been in love with her for the past six years or so. I was a dummy for not tell her this BEFORE she got married. I know this because she told me so. Apparently, she had been in love with me too, but wrote me off as "too cool to be interested in her". Her answer was to marry some other guy and move away. To like... New Mexico. Eventually, Danielle and I went camping again on her parents' land, this time as a couple. That was the year she found my angsty "I love Danielle" carving. ... Awkward. Anyways, we've been camping in that same spot in the woods every summer. It's become a very special place for us. You see, during that very first camping trip (with her husband), her and I woke up before the others and sat by the early morning campfire and talked. It was the first time we'd ever been alone together. Then we both went off and secretly swooned, wondering why we could never be together and each thinking we were the only member of the duo wondering this. It was all incredibly cliche. So it was at this special spot that I proposed marriage. I lied to Danielle and told her that I just wanted to drive out there to roast some smokies for the hell of it and then drive back home. So we took the dog with us and headed out. So there I was, down on one knee with my family ring... incidentally, that ring is a VERY expensive ring of evil lies. You see, my wealthy, great grandmother in England, bought it for herself to make the men around her think that she was married (children with no husband? Scandalous!).  Then she gave it to my grandmother (I call my grandmother Nana, and she's going to be very happy to hear that my small rock kills your enchanted bunny. Game over, Moonpie.) on the promise that it would never be given to anyone else. Of course, my Nana gave it to my mother on the promise that it never be given to anyone else. Later my Mother gave it to me, provided that I never tell the tale of my great grandmother and her original reason for buying the ring. Oops. See? It's a ring of evil lies! I can't decide if that makes it cooler or not. So I was down on one knee. I said "Danielle, will you marry..." Then I was tackled by a VERY excited lady. Yes, my 70 lbs dog Ember had taken my one knee stance to mean "It's time to play" and jumped on top of me. I quickly regained my composure and re-asked my question. By this point, Danielle was already crying. But she said "yes". Danielle, you are my best friend and the source of my strength. Thank you for agreeing to be my wife. I can't wait to continue making you smile, waking you up with kisses and playing the "stand on my feet as we walk around the room" game. To quote a page from my comic that has not yet been drawn, "I see you". ~Tarol Hunt
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